Friday, 24 April 2009

Podcast Forthcoming

Some good news. Hopefully from Monday 27th April you will be able to listen to a sketch show podcast that Chris Stokes and I will have completed comprising Boycott Deathtrap sketches we have done.

If you're familiar with our work, I'm sure you'll be thrilled to hear that it contains some brand new material - a good sign of things to come!

I also now provide a headshot service and with results like this (left) you can't possibly be missed by potential agents and directors.

Sunday, 19 April 2009

BBEF #3 - The New Cool Tool

Gentle readers,

You will notice to the right is a new gadget I have added to make the job of the British Blogspot Expeditionary Force a wee bit easier. The images scroll from one blog to the next. Click upon them and you will be transported.

You can try it too! Find an image that sparks your interest and click away. Feel free to construct your own BBEF report on what you find. Remember to sneer.

Monday, 6 April 2009

I'm A Martyr, Get Me Crucified!

Ok, so here’s the pitch:


We take twelve celebrities with some sort of chip on their shoulder about something. Ideally, they’ll be z-list celebrities that everybody’s forgotten about who are desperate to be remembered for something more worthwhile than, for example, ‘Finders, Keepers’ and ‘Fun House’. Actually, Pat Sharpe and Neil Buchanana would be perfect contenders!


Then – it gets better! They’ll be competing against different classical civilisations to be martyred. These civilisations will be built in suitably unpopulated locations like Shetland and Guernsey, as true to history as we can. They’ll then be populated by historians and actors who have read up on the background of their particular society. The contenders will then go about, stirring up trouble in the name of their preferred raison d’etre. We can even get top celebs as special guests to play famous figures from history. So, let’s take our budding CITV presenters as a simulated example.


CONTENDER:   Pat Sharpe

MORAL STANCE:          Tepid

SOAP BOX TOPIC:        “We should give more money to endangered butterflies.”


THEIR BEEF IS:            “We fackin’ hate them fackin’ butterflies!”

THEIR PREFERRED METHOD OF EXECUTION:              Offering the victim as a sexual vessel for the sea-beasts of Dagon (one of their attested 1st millennium gods).

CURRENT RULER:        Ahiram, Phoencian King of Byblos (to be played by Richard O’Brien).



CONTENDER:   Neil Buchanana

MORAL STANCE:          Vehement

SOAP BOX TOPIC:        “We should enslave little ethnic kids.”


THEIR BEEF IS:            Zoroastrianism (their state religion) forbids slavery.

THEIR PREFERRED METHOD OF EXECUTION:             Split your nutsack open and watch you bleed to death.

CURRENT RULER:        Emperor Cyrus II The Great (to be played by Jasper Carrot)



I’ve no doubt you’re all as excited about this as I am. I suggest you get scribbling to the Beeb and Channel 4 AT ONCE and lobby them to pick up this innovative and exceptionally educational show.


Thank you.

Saturday, 4 April 2009

Martin: A gaseous boy

There was a boy called Martin
Whose skills were high in fartin'
He would fart out rhymes
With limerick chimes
But they would always end up being disappointingly unlimerickesque at the end.