Wednesday, 17 September 2008

The British Blogspot Expeditionary Force (BBEF) #1

So what are we?

You've read this far so I'll tell you. I'll tell you what we are. We are the British Blogspot Expeditionary Force. My name is Dominic J. Allen, and I am in charge. I am the Major General or possibly Generalissimo, if you will.

My mission: to plunge myself into the reaches of the unknown and report back in digestible chunks.

My mode of transport: the little button at the top left that says next blog.

Destination: Unknown.

So, without much further ado, I give to you my first spate of findings. If you should so wish, you may approach the journalage as a sort of blogger's digest. I'm sure that name is copyright somewhere though. So think of it like that but different. Think of it as THE BRITISH BLOGSPOT EXPEDITIONARY FORCE!

BBEF - #001 - 

The first blog we hit is 'Fashion y Flash'. This blog is profoundly visual, presumably because when text is used it utilises some fanciful or, as yet, unkown language. Distinctly unique is its use of only the female image to symbolise elements such as 'Regresion' and that equally famous psychological phenomenon 'Submundo'.

The first image nurses a baby that isn't there. Perhaps some sort of post-miscarriage depression. The second sniffs her own armpit longingly. What is there here but failure and solitude? Only ones own body odours.

The next picture, a face is engulfed by long white tentacles. Lovecraft. Cthulhu. Doom. The eyes roll backwards into the brainless skull. All is mis-spent navigation classes at the Academy.

Then a naked woman in a well. Contorted with her own insane lusts.

An invader. Asian-fashioned ladyselle in a barn. East meets West to create Iraq. Polemic. Political. L'Esprit de vie de Junta.

Next: a woman ties her shoelaces without looking at them. She looks at you. She realises the lack of logic but takes no heed.

Finally, a girl on an indoor swing looks behind her. Is distracted from her play article that does not exist in the real world. She looks. Have they said something. A lover? A lover would be silent. If it were true love. Or perhaps not. Perhaps her life is one big sham. Hence, an indoor swing. Society has lied to her about what is acceptable and what is not to turn her into a laughing stock. She becomes 'anima'. Hence, 'Regresion'.

BBEF Review: 6/10... 8/10 if you are not an homosexualist

The next destination is 'Work now, Play later'.

Let us dissect:

We are treaterised to artworkings made by an headless man. The horseman? No.

The works are too manifest to analyse individually. When viewed as a cache or the many being an entourage to the few and the one, a deep-seated anxiety and paranoia is betrayed at the heart of the headless host. He is perhaps Iberian, perhaps Latino. Perhaps both. Or neither.

Something in the colours. Something in the colours. It kept coming through on the radio but the radio wasn't on, so I turned it round from square. Nothing. Nothing now. Not even static hum.

So we scroll deeper and deeper into the psyche of the mind without a box. Labor day weekend. Bicycles and Bradley's. Salt and Pepper. Archduke and Duchess. King and Queen. Left and East.


Legend. Myth. He had been posting photos instead of words because he's lazy. His own conviction. Or hers. Without a head. A shame. A real shame.

A captive woman in a box of captor things. They presumably impede her into submission. She looks displeased with her newfound incarceration. Perhaps she'll perish.

The rest is all flying dogs and basketball played wrong.

All in all, an exciting visual, yet mentally stimulating romp, through the mind of a headless Spaniard.

BBEF Review: 7.5/10

1 comment:

Chris Stokes said...

A splendid idea! Inspired, I hit 'next blog' immediately, and came across this one, entitled "Plum Blossom's Adventures in China" - I shan't copy you by doing a review of it, but thought I'd share my finding.